Close to giving it up
by NacaMichio
Summary: Alice grew up believing she was insane, Jasper grew up believing he could never get away from the violence, when they find each other their worlds collide and nothing will ever be the same. A human AU where Alice is adopted by the Cullens and falls madly in love with the strange tall blonde Jasper Hale only to find that their dark pasts may be intertwined in more ways than one.
1. What lies

**Twilight AU**

**Jasper and Alice**

**The Cullens are a normal foster care family that adopt children that are mistreated or need special care that can not be found elsewhere. **

**From both Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock's POV's**

* * *

I looked into the mirror one last time. I had to look normal for my first day of school. My new father, who had adopted me literally a week ago, was the nicest man alive. I thought no one would take me. Who would want a crazy girl? That's what I was. Carlisle had adopted me from a mental institution for orphaned girls. I had been put there… I don't really remember how long ago because I had what they called a "psychotic break." I told people I could see the future, but I had never been able to prove it. Then I saw the most horrific thing! I started to freak out and they took me to the institution.

I sighed and stood up to get a good look at myself. My hair was styled so that the headband held it back from my face but not too tight and it came to my chin, how I always had it cut, and flared out in all directions curling away and up from my pale face. The purple circles under my eyes almost looked natural now that I had good eye shadow, and nice working mascara. I smoothed the bottom of my navy blue knee length dress and then fixed the belt before tying the strings at my waist that matched the bows I had tied at the elbows of my sleeves where the sleeves themselves stopped. It was chilly outside so I had put on my leggings to match.

I reached for my shoes and jumped slightly when I noticed my older brother Edward was leaning up against the door frame, "Morning, Alice. Do you want to ride with me to school this morning or Emmett and Rosalie?" He smiled and it reminded me a little of Carlisle, even though Edward and my other new siblings were also adopted. Edward had been ill when he was really young and had lost his mother. Carlisle was his doctor and helped him recover and adopted him shortly after. I ran my hand through his copper hair to fix the strands that had sort of popped out. He was only a little taller than me but I still had to stand on my toes. His dark eyes stared at me amused and his lip curled up in a crooked grin. He was wider than me also, but that wasn't hard. I hadn't eaten properly in six years. He was still big.

I had become really close with Edward, and even if I hadn't I was overall very comfortable with people in general. I was very outgoing and would have been extremely nice to him anyway. I stood up on my toes and kissed his cheek," Is it even a question?" I giggled and slipped my flats on, scurrying back into my bedroom to grab my backpack. I slipped it over my shoulder and stopped. My room. This was my bedroom. I hadn't had a room of my own in years and Carlisle had gone all out with it. I was so used to the white walls at the institution that the colors dazzled me.

My bed was covered in a light blue comforter with purple designs on it. The pillows and curtains matched and the walls were slightly lighter blue. Her carpet matched the walls and there was a purple carpet peeking out from under the bed slightly. To her right was a desk with a blue lamp and her new laptop. Her old one was destroyed in the institution a week before she met Carlisle. To her left was her full length mirror on the door to her walk in closet full of clothes she had chosen about the same day she had come home.

Home.

"You alright, Alice?" Edward asked from the door.

"Oh, yes!" she turned around on her heal and smiled brightly before taking his hand and skipping smoothly down the hall, Edward gliding next to her. The whole family seemed to move like this. No matter how big their actions or movements they all seemed to be moving so gracefully and Alice loved it. She saw her other two siblings in the kitchen. Emmett was huge. He literally was at least six two or three and was wide in the shoulders. His hair was black and cropped very short. He smiled, showing all his teeth when I came in. He was so muscular he had almost scared me at first, but my vision made me almost fearless. It was so horrible nothing else could compare.

He walked up to me and hugged me in a crushing hug, but as I wrapped my arms around his neck I could tell it looked natural. He set me down, his booming laugh filling the space we were in. He turned and wrapped an arm around Rosalie's hips. Even though they were legally siblings, the two had fallen madly in love.

Rosalie was as tall as Edward and always wore high heels. She was very muscular but she just appeared very athletic and fit like a runner or a gymnast. Her hair was long and blonde and fell in curls down her shoulders.

She kissed Emmett and turned to lean on the marble island in the middle of the kitchen where I hopped up onto one of the seats, " It was Emmett's turn to cook this morning right?" I asked, my voice sounding high and shrill in my own ears as Edward moved to sit next to me. Rose snorted and passed me a plate of eggs and bacon. Well, one egg and two slices of bacon. They would be lucky if I ate that much. Not that I didn't want to and I wasn't anorexic, I knew I was too skinny. I just hadn't been able to eat for so long that now I still couldn't eat much.

I ate and talked and actually almost finished the egg when I was full. Edward took my hand and led me out to his silver Volvo. I loved it and I had found out I was allowed to get whatever car I wanted. I had always wanted a bright yellow Porsche but I would never ask for something so expensive. The day after I asked Edward informed me that my Porsche was on its way. I couldn't even drive.

I climbed into the Volvo and buckled up. Edward sat in the driver's seat and we were off. I watched the trees of Forks zoom past, I still loved them though I heard you grow sick of them here because that is all you see here. All the same trees the same color against a constant grey sky. It was so much nicer than my normal scenery.

I noticed the leather band on Edwards wrist. I had seen it a few times. It had a silver crest on it and I had never asked about it before, "What is that, Edward?" I asked quietly, touching it with the tip of my index finger.

"It's the family crest. We all wear them. Emmett has a leather bracelet like mine and Rose had a locket." He grinned. I thought about what he said and sighed, trying not to seem sad not to have one. I mean, I wasn't part of the family yet. I had just gotten there.

"Where was Esme this morning?" Esme was Carlisle's wife. She was a lot like me. Smaller and thin with long dark auburn hair. I was closest to her but really they were all very welcoming.

"She slept in this morning. She wanted to get up to see you off like everyone to your first day of school but she is so sick Alice." He smiled.

"I understand. I know she wouldn't miss it for anything less." I smiled back, bouncing in my seat slightly as I could see the school out the right side of the car. He pulled into the parking lot and we both started to the office to get my schedule.

I stood in front of the desk in the front office and looked out the glass door, smiling and waving at whoever looked up at me. Most smiled, nodded or waved. Then everything seemed to change. The whole room became warped. I grabbed Edwards arm and he put an arm over my shoulder. I don't know what he was saying, he was leading me somewhere. I was having a vision. He sat me in a chair and held my hand, stroking my face then I wasn't with him anymore.

I was in the school. A hallway. No one else was in there except one male I could see. He was blonde, long honey blonde hair and very pale, more so than I was used to seeing. His eyes were so blue but so full of pain and sadness. He seemed tall and thin but he also was very strong though not very confident. He seemed to want to seem weak and be left alone. I watched him turn his back and then a larger boy slammed into him and tackled him to the ground. The larger boy I couldn't make out but he started beating the blonde mercilessly until the blonde punched him and flipped him over. I couldn't tell what happened next but then the blonde stood up and was clutching his bleeding side. He had been stabbed.

I gasped and was seeing Edward again," We…We have to go… I have to…" I didn't know what I needed to do, but I knew that boy, I had seen him before, but I didn't know where and I really wanted to help him. Edward took my hands in his and I met his eyes.

"I know where to find him, come on." I didn't know how he knew what I was talking about but after a few minutes of running through the halls, which were now empty because it was so close to class time, he had me in the same hallway from my vision and standing there was the blonde. I saw the larger guy and screamed at the blonde and he turned in time to see the larger boy. I watched in shock as he sidestepped the larger male and grabbed the back of his neck, slamming him to the floor.

He stood up and looked at me, tilting his head to the side for a moment then muttering a thank you and running off the other direction. I sighed and turned to Edward, so many questions in my head, but then the bell rang and he rushed me back to the office to get my schedule. I missed my first class because Edward had to explain why we ran off but second class was a shock for me when I walked through the doors of my Anatomy and physiology class.


	2. Is it over yet?

**Jasper's POV**

I sighed deeply and brushed the blonde curls out of my face, shutting my locker. I did not want to do this anymore. They wouldn't listen. I pulled my zip up jacket on over my pullover, it was so cold here. I hated Washington, but I ever get a say in anything. Suddenly there was a scream behind me. I turned, my eyes wide, automatically on guard. There he was, the man I had been dreading all day. He came thundering up to me, if that girl hadn't screamed at me he would have taken me down and probably killed me.

I sidestepped the oaf and grabbed the back of his neck. If he hadn't had so much forward momentum as he had, then I wouldn't have been able to slam him into the ground like I did. He should know better than to come at me like that. Once he is on the ground I know he isn't going to get up for a while so I look up at the girl who screamed. I recognize the tall male next to her. He is one of those foster kids, Edward Cullen. You could see his gelled auburn hair from a mile away. I still has no clue who the pixy-like girl next to him was.

I ran a pale, shaking hand through my hair and muttered a quick thank you before shoving my hands into my jacket pockets and running the other direction. I knew my attacker wouldn't hurt them, he was after me. I made it to the bathroom then vomited, falling back against the stall walls and slumping, my whole body shaking. I took a deep breath and wiped my face off on my black sleeve. I wiped the tears away and slowly stood, shaking terribly now, but I had to pull it together. I had to make it to second class or my father would murder me.

I stood in front of the mirror and saw that I looked just as pale as usual, my green eyes sporting purple rings as always and my hair messy and disheveled. I ran my fingers through it, the long nimble projections working as a good substitute for my comb. I readjusted my black combat jacket over my grey striped pullover hoodie and rinsed my face once more before heading to Anatomy and Physiology.

I sat in my normal seat, I had wanted to be all the way in the back and all the way to the left so I had a corner at my back but I always had to settle for the back row in the middle. I sat down, not having any of my things because I hadn't gotten a chance to get them. I looked up where the teacher sat then curiously at the door as it swung open and I could feel my face drop. I had a sick feeling and thought I would have to run out of the room.

It was the pixy girl, standing all too happy in the doorway. She walked over to the teacher and the bell rang. He stood up and introduced her to us as I stared at her, taking her in. she might be a problem. Maybe I could scare her like I scared everyone else.

"This is Alice Brandon-Cullen, the newest edition to the Cullen family. Tell the class a bit about yourself, Alice." He sat down and she skipped to the middle front, confidence just oozing from her, but there was something else oozing from that perky little girl.

See, I can feel emotions. It's strange yes, but I can. No one believes me, well they wouldn't if I told them, which I haven't. I could differentiate her emotions from everyone else in the room. She was truly happy to be here. There were other small emotions that I couldn't quite figure out but creeping up behind her happiness was another, fear. She was scared. It took all my nerve not to reach out with my powers and sooth that fear. I can do that too. I chose not to.

"I am Alice, you know that. I've had a pretty strange past but everything is okay now. I love doing hair and makeup and clothes are my life. I design clothes in my spare time and I can play piano." She said, touching her chin with her index finger, her purple painted lips playing at a smile but not quite one yet.

Then there it is, one corner lifting in a smirk as her eyes light up, "Oh and I draw!" She said, bouncing in her place. I felt a wave of emotions and my head started to ache with the influx of jealousy, envy, lust and admiration pouring from my fellow students. I stood up and stormed out of the classroom. I flinched as I walked passed Alice, hurt stabbing me in the side. She didn't realize I wasn't reacting like this because of her, but because of everyone else.

I stood outside the classroom for a good fifteen minutes until I could feel no one was spewing the feeling of hatred towards me anymore or the envy to Alice, then I walked back in. When she smiled shyly at me, she had sat in the empty seat next to mine, I nodded. That was the closest I got to smiling. I felt the relief flood her and felt horrible that she had been worried like she had.

I kept looking up through my curtain of honey blonde hair to look at her and caught her staring at me a few times but she never saw that I was looking at her. I actually smirked. She was cute, but I couldn't become friends or anything with her. I felt bad for this, but I couldn't be anyone's friend. Not with how strange I was and with my family…

The bell rang and I stood up, leaving just as it did. I walked as fast as I could yet she seemed to be right next to me in moment I looked over and it was like she was dancing next to me, the way she glided, skipping every step or so. It was rather elegant. I licked my lips and tried to look away but she was so alluring.

" I'm Alice." She offered as a conversation starter, clasping her hands behind her back. I looked down at her and smirked slightly.

"I gathered." I snapped. I felt bad then because I felt the slight disappointment from her, "I'm Jasper Whitlock." I muttered, not offering my free hand to shake, just continuing on my way.

"Jasper is a nice name, I like…" I cut her off with a wave of my hand and turned to her.

"Look, I said thank you and I guess I owe you one, but we aren't friends, we can't be." I was getting worked up, I could tell because my deep southern accent was starting to come out, I had tried so hard to hide it, " Just… leave me alone." I turned away and ignored the massive hurt she felt that felt like it was going to tear me in half. I had been rude to people before but this, this hurt so bad I felt I might crumble.

I scrubbed my face with my hand and sighed, it had to be done. Now to get through two more classes without incident and I would be home free… if you could consider home… free.


	3. What we can't

I tried not to cry. I watched Jasper storm away and I felt my face starting to flush. Had I done something wrong? I wiped my eyes and ran into the bathroom, losing my normal composure and breaking down. I shouldn't be this upset, why did him treating me like that upset me so much? I didn't even know him! I cried only for a few moments then got myself together. I had to get to my next class, couldn't miss two classes in one day. I felt a little batter as I stood up and I wiped the mascara lines out from under my eyes, looking at the word scribbled across the mirror. Maybe one day girls would be scribbling things about me there.

Most girls would get upset over that but I felt it would be a sort of initiation. I have never been in one place long enough for anyone to take that kind of notice of me, except the institution. God, I prayed no one would find out about that!

I made it to my class in plenty of time, taking a moment to look around. Why was I disappointed not to see that blonde hair? He didn't want to get to know me. I started to focus on other people as much as I could. There was a girl a little ways away with pretty brown hair that wore a headband like mine. She had chocolate brown eyes and seemed very uncomfortable in her own skin. She was talking with a few others when another person came in the door. It was Edward. I had forgotten he was in this class. He came in and she stopped everything and stared at him. As he walked over her other friends sort of turned and started doing other things. He leaned down and kissed her and I pulled back in surprise.

He looked up and smiled before sitting down next to the other girl and calling back to me, "Alice, come up here and meet some people."

"Sure!" I said standing and moving up to sit behind him. He turned sideways in his seat and propped a foot up on the girls desk. She laughed nervously then met my eyes, waving at me. I waved back.

"Alice, this is my girlfriend, Isabella Swan, Bella, this is my sister Alice." Edward introduced us. I offered my hand, her hand slightly bigger than mine but just as dainty, our skin almost the same complexion, "Bella is from Arizona. Her father is sheriff Swan. Uh…" He started to point others out and introduce us, it was a lot to take in. The bell rang and the teacher had me go up to the front and introduce myself then we watched Romeo and Juliet, the older one. Edward held Bella's hand and was leaned over, reciting the whole play to her as it went on. I smiled and watched them as it went on, seeing how comfortable they seemed with each other.

The bell rang and Edward bid us farewell, having a class across the school from us. Bella smiled nervously and needlessly tucked her hair behind her ear," Hey, um, Alice. What class do you have next?" She asked. Technically I was a year ahead of her and Edward but I had another class with her next period. It was an elective, art is the renaissance. The class consisted of fifteen minutes of college like lecture then he let us do whatever so Bella and I sat and talked with each other, getting to know one another.

"I'm so nervous. Edward invited me over for dinner in about a week. I haven't met any of his other family members other than you. " she laughed nervously again, a habit I noticed she did a lot when talking in general.

"They are so amazingly nice, Bella, and I am sure they will love you! You are so nice!" I said taking her hands in mine and squeezing them. It was true. There was only one Cullen that worried me, and Rosalie wouldn't be rude to a guest.

"I'm sure." Bella looked at the floor then back to our hands then smiled to herself. I could tell she wasn't used to people being so nice to her, but it seemed everyone here was so nice to her and she was so nice back.

"Are you new here too?" I asked.

"Yeah, only been here about four months now." She shrugged, still not looking up. She started to mess with a loose thread on her nice white sweater as she spoke, " I like it a lot here, now that I'm a bit more comfortable."

"It seems like a lovely place to be." I muttered as the door opened, my attention averting. I couldn't help the smile that creased my face as Jasper walked into the classroom. He leaned on the desk and started whispering to the teacher about something, his eyes roaming the classroom and turning away as soon as they met mine. I dropped the smile then turned to Bella, letting it return and bouncing in my seat, " So, where do you shop?"

She wasn't going to drop that so easy. She may be nervous and feel awkward but she still sometimes wanted to gossip," What was that?" She asked, eyeing Jasper then looking back at me.

"What was what?" I asked, readjusting in my seat, my voice pitching, which she caught. She smiled and looked back at him.

"You like Jasper Whitlock!" She lowered her voice, drawing closer to me. I could tell gossiping like this was new for her because she seemed excited but like she didn't know how to talk about boys at all.

"Oh, no, we met earlier and he just doesn't want anything to do with me." I waved my hand in front of my face to brush that thought off.

"That doesn't mean you don't like him. I thought Edward wanted nothing to do with me either. He actually seemed to try to avoid me as much as he could and was sort of mean but it turned out he was just scared of how I would react to him." She seemed to be floating when she talked about him, so much more confident.

"You like Edward a lot." I hoped this would make her drop the subject of Jasper, who was now getting angry at the teacher.

"I more than like him." She said instantly then giggled as if she had said something wrong. I smiled until Jasper slammed his hands on the desk and stood up, looking terribly calm for someone who was obviously pissed about something. The whole class was silent. He stood up un naturally straight and looked around the room, puring his lips awkwardly before turning and just leaving. I sighed and stood up.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I muttered. The teacher sighed and wrote me a hall pass, letting me go. It only took a few minutes for me to find him, he was actually only a few doors down. He knew I would be coming to see him, it was almost like he was the one with the visions, " I, uh, excuse me, I…" I really wasn't used to being nervous, this wasn't my way, but he made me so giddy. The way his lips pulled at the corner in aggravation.

"Listen, I was rude earlier, I'm sorry, but I have to stand by what I said. We can't be friends." He muttered.

"We just met and you already know this?" I didn't say it maliciously, I actually was confused. Why was he acting like this? I hadn't tried to offend him, of course I was acting sort of like a stalker.

"I can't be friends with anyone. Plus I won't be in Forks long enough for it to matter. Just… forget about me like everyone else." He shook his head and turned to leave and I grabbed his arm. He jerked it away and whimpered, grabbing his head like he had been struck. I was small and frail, there was no way that even if I had tried to hurt him that I could have that bad.

Now he looked like he was going to be sick and he hurried away without another word. I shook my head, deciding that dropping it was the best idea. I smiled again, not losing my smile for very long ever, and turned to go back to class to finish my day.


	4. I'll be gone

**warning: contains incest and attempted suicide. Rated T for a reason.**

It hurt. That's all I remember about that last moment I spoke to Alice. I hurt and had to be taken to the office. My whole body shook with the force of all of her emotions, her fear and her happiness and her hurt. It felt like needles all over my body. All of that was from the touch of her fingers on my bare hand. She avoided me as much as I avoided her from then on. A week or two passed and we didn't even make awkward eye contact.

The man that attacked me that first day Alice was at school, didn't bother me anymore. He knew better than to try again so soon. He also knew that I knew who he was and my step father would do horrid things to him if he tried again. Not that my step father truly cared what happened to me. Niether of my so called parents did.

I stood in my bedroom with some headphones in listening to three Days Grace when the door burst open. I ripped the headphones out and dropped the clothes that were on my hands, spinning to stand practically at attention. I relaxed slightly when I saw it was my mother, Maria. I knew Maria wasn't my real mother, but she didn't know I knew. She was the exact opposite of me in every way. Where I had honey blonde hair, hers was pitch black, and where I had pale skin, her small tan hand now ran through her black hair gently as her hazel eyes met my emerald green ones.

"What's up?" I tried to sound casual, but she never even made eye contact with me without wanting something.

"Your father wants you to go out tonight and make a few sales for him." I knew it. I spun away from her and pretended to be cleaning my desk. I wasn't paying attention at all, I was trying not to cry, which would have made everything worse. She wrapped her arms around my waist as I moved the blue paperweight across the desk for the third time. I stopped and slammed in down, looking up to blink the tears back.

"I don't want to. Doesn't he have friends that will do that?" I whined, my voice cracking. She rested her chin on my shoulder.

"He wants you to." She muttered in almost a sad voice. She didn't mean any of it. Sometimes I thought she had no emotions at all. I felt her shift behind me and I leaned back so she could kiss my cheek but she reached up and touched my cheek and turned me around so I was twisting rather far and she locked her lips onto mine. The kiss was very passionate and my head spun with the bitter taste that was lust pouring from her. I pulled away first and she smiled, " Please do it for me." She whispered.

I nodded. Of course I would do it. How could I say no? She ran her hand across my back and I whimpered. I hated that she acted like this around me. Mother or not, she was my primary caretaker, in her thirties and making advances on me.

I waited until she was out of the room to grab my clothes and run to the shower. I started the water and almost got in with my clothes on, but I was able to wait long enough to get them off. I stood and pressed my hands to the tile and hung my head, letting the water pour over my head as I closed my eyes tight and repressed sobs. I didn't want to go out and make sales for my step father. I could feel the warmth of my tears in contrast to the cool water running across my skin. I stopped up the drain and let the tub start to fill, staring at the filling water and sobbing lightly. With the tub still filling I lowered myself to the water and took a deep breath before lowering myself under it. I closed my eyes and let the breath out, staying under the water as long as I could before feeling my lungs were about to explode. I gasped for air finally but just sucked water in and started to choke. I still didn't let myself up. I choked and it took forever for me to start getting dizzy and my vision to start feeling the effects. It hurt as the water filled my lungs, or at least that was what I thought was happening, I couldn't really tell.

My vision faded out and for a moment I didn't think anything then I felt and intense pain in my chest and I coughed. It seemed like I vomited water for an hour but it couldn't have been that long. I gasped air back into my lungs and the cool precious air, it burned like hell as I blinked and tried to look around. I was lying on the bathroom floor with Maria cradling my head and my step father was wiping his mouth, glaring at me.

"Call 911." He ordered someone I couldn't see. I sat panting and gasping and choking for a few more minutes before I passed out again. A few times I was woken by lights shined in my face or someone calling my name but really the next time I woke up and was coherent, I was in a dark hospital room.

I looked around and my eyes focused on a doctor over by the foot of my bed. He looked up and smiled at me kindly. I tried to sit up and my ribs ached so bad I fell back onto the bed, moaning in pain.

"Whoa, you just stay calm and stay laying down." He said, his soft voice matching the smile from earlier. I felt a calming sensation coming from him and knew he was sincerely concerned.

"Wh…" I started to say and started coughing, my ribs racking with pain.

"You almost drowned and your step father resuscitated you. I am doctor Carlisle Cullen." Now I recognized his blonde short cut hair and soft face. He looked so much nicer than everyone said he was.

"I didn't… want to be saved…" I started to cry and tried to lift my hand to wipe my face but I felt a tug on my wrist, holding my hand down. I looked down and saw my wrist was strapped to the bed.

"I know, I'm sorry. I know…" Carlisle stroked my hair out of my face, "I'm sorry. Jasper, can you tell me why you tried to drown yourself?" He asked in almost a whisper.

I whimpered, "Scared…" and Carlisle looked like he was going to ask me something else when Maria walked into the room.

"Hey, Baby, how are you feeling?" She asked, just as fake as ever.

"I'm fine." I muttered.

"we thought we had lost you." I tensed up at my step father's voice but tried to hide it. It was too late. Carlisle had seen it.

"I am going to have to ask you to leave the room." He said sternly.

"That's my son." Maria said in shock.

"I will call security if you do not step out of the room." I cringed at the look on my step father's face. He was going to hit Carlisle.

To my surprise he didn't. Carlisle gave a stirn look and my "parents" left the room. I shook my head and tried to refrain from bursting into gross sobbing.

"It will be alright, Jasper. They won't be able to hurt you while you are here. You're going to be fine." He assured me as I stared out the window. He believed that. Now that was funny.


End file.
